I don't know you anymore

I have been trying to make it
I am afraid I have to be blunt
I am strong enough to hold on
I'd rather be posing in a kimono
instead of hanging by a dried limb

And if that means I can't have you
Then it means there's someone else
Who is not as hard to reach
Who will not watch my struggle
only to waltz away alone

I want a sepia toned life
where I am not forced to smile
When bombardment means
that the pattern of my dress
would be burned into my flesh

In a place where colors are dark
and pastels are muted
so that the nature of sweet things
slip across my face
like fine silk against my cheek

I can't get by on Yes and No
when imagery runs deeper
The glint in your eye
hinders my ability to explain
That you need to to see

The world is full of good
all my intentions reinforce
my excessive ambitions
that I might sit beside another soul
who is reborn watching cherry blossoms

As much as you speak the language
I'm not sure you understand
what our ancestors expect from us
with these hands we build the future
So I can't waste them holding on

I don't think I can go on

I've been doing just fine
avoiding broken glass
I'm at the point of dancing
to side step all of the pain
you shattered across the floor

When I reached down
picking up each piece gingerly
in order to, one by one
place them back together
to fuse what you threw away

In your carelessness
you fell toward me
and maybe you didn't mean to
push me forward into that mess
which forced it to sink in

between your weight
and the hard place, I was punctured
So when you finally got up
I was able to rise once more
decorated with shards I couldn't shake

I began the process of pulling them out
in order to, one by one
place them back together
to return your preciousness,
to rebuild what you broke

Without finesse, without grace
systematically, I put together
the puzzle you never knew you had
Watching me do it
made you want to play

The invitation was open
So you barely tried
each piece you picked up wouldn't fit
so in your frustration you broke the table
giving me something new to repair

I can't keep you anymore

This house never was a home
the rooms are cluttered
with all these broken things
the futon is too thin to cushion
me from what you never tidy up

And as I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
since there is no other body
who wants to hold me dear
I wish for everlasting night

But the new day always comes
overcast skies hide my joy
I curse in a language unknown
until the heavy feelings leave
me glowing warm and bright

Then I rise to shine into you
My overflowing joviality
crashes into an irritated barrier
unconsciously you attack back
destroying my best intentions

So that everything I've worked at
leaves you stone cold
Beyond my heavy head
I see you holding me by the neck
slamming me over and over again

there is a sensation
like a hammer pounding a nail
an ache that creeps down my neck
And if I say anything
I know you'll quit trying

being on top exhausts you
I get nothing from taking that part
Still, I swallow my pride
Silence my submissive needs
to do your job for you

Yet, I can't seem to leave you

I want to be small and sweet
I need to feel I am adored
I don't want to always be strong
I have to be felt and enjoyed
I won't keep being your mom

At two times my size
I can't coddle you
I can't have you in my lap
A Giant Tree can't sleep here
unless I am to be crushed dead

Still the plight you must live with
sends a pair of perfect tears
down to my chin
where they meet as one
to drip down warm on my breast

The part of me that wants to nurture
begs me to keep extending out
to find some way to embrace you
but I can't even reach around you
to hold you in my reasonable arms

Now you feel disgusting
While I am disappointed
about the absurdity of our nature
We both turn away from failure
waiting for something to work

Books, lectures, advice, and family
Assure me that we aren't together
So I learn a new trick just in case
Only to be there failing each time
These years passed without an inch of progress

To everyone else, it is easy
The only thing left to do is leave
learn how to say good bye
Am I to believe there is no hope
for a bright future here?

I don't love you anymore

Can't bring myself to give in

teach me how to turn away

take my hand and lead me off

I need to know the sunshine

opening my life once more

The sky is falling, crashing down
Although I am used to it
I am turning around frantically
I have to find my umbrella
to protect my poor widdle head

The sirens begin to wail
the clack of my sandals
is silenced
from the sound of screaming all around
it's a response to your rampaging

Trying to flee never works
A group of fool hearty men
take me by the arms
delivering me to the edge of your raging
to pacify the monster within

I am your little doll
who smiles to comfort
carried around in your violent grasp
until another toy captures
your child-like attention span

I am tossed thirty stories down
I fly ten blocks away
After taking down helicopters
Tossing around SUVs
you remember I was forgotten

The buildings become rubble
in your desperate confusion
a search burning with need
I am scooped up into your claws
As I begin to come to once again

My dear friend, what shal I do?

I know a lady shouldn't be in a place like this
But I only have an hour to kill
Is there a doctor in the house?
I need someone to relocate my shoulder
I'll have just one more sake

Before we can make heads from tails
Black spots appear in the skies
with gaping mouths
we turn to flee once more
before our chances are taken away

push me into the arms
of someone less careless
Stop, Drop, and roll
to someplace welcoming
painted in red maple

When the threat is gone
I want to raise my perception
to sunbeams cutting through clouds
amazed by the realization
that we're in the very same place

my mouth is terribly dry
I must be dehydrated
you'd think I'd be capable
of taking care of this myself
but you should offer me a drink

I keep checking my watch
for the right time to come along
we're all so tired of this
never saying what we mean
has purposely confused us

But if you never listen
I'll tell the world what it's like
to feel the way I do
And if it seems hypocritical
Then you should let me speak

I can not stop loving you

There's a straight Jacket in my closet
And a roll of duct tape in the kitchen
between three chairs and one bed
there must be something to tie me to
So I wont get the opportunity to quit

Don't let me miss your feelings
get the handcuffs and choke chain
wrap me up tight in velvet ribbons
But if that wont be enough
try on the suit tie I got you last year

moons dangle from these ears
a symbol of light's reflection
should convey to you the meaning
to the things you left unspoken
in the grey of those empty nights

Even the beast made to kill
has the desiring heart of man
who spent too long being feared
to know better what to do
with the crashing rush of geniality

behind the scales of the serpent
beyond the venom tainted fangs
Beside the hissing and rattling
There's a cuddle puss wondering
If there is no way to stop scaring

behind these tussled feathers
beyond the sharp cutting beak
beside the cawing and scratching
There's a cuddle puss wondering
If there's a way to quit intimidating

But in these bodies we have
soft skin and warm hearts
crushing teeth and cutting bones
are hidden inside formidable cushions
so take off the ideals and come to bed

Tomorrow is a new day

Let me wake to a shared friction
a mess of bed head and morning breath
we'll be stale from too much rest
to care a single bit
about the bombs falling from heaven

All these explosive atoms
will pop in colored lights
A jubilee of fireworks
to set the day in celebration
of sharing what we hold dear

Can we try this thing once more
If the world is going to end
I want to know I loved
If you reciprocate the pulsating
we might find our peace of mind

Let's rebuild this thing together
between the two of us
we can figure how to piece
together without the manual
and make art out of shattered dreams

cool your jets, silence your engine
I'm a person just like you
All we ever wanted was another
person who we could work with
to build a house out of legos

But first thing is always first
I'll take the hammer and nails
if you will grab the super glue
we'll salvage what we can
and start from what we have

I can still work one handed
Can you help me sweep the floors?
company is on it's way over
After we finish this up tonight
Tomorrow is a brand new day