The sun went down
Before hand
I was bathed in light
And they saw
straight through
to my soul
tormented
And I was hated

Still I smiled
bowed
played hostess
Laughter
swirled around form
While they spewed
their thank you
I fell to the floor

The spots erupted
The demon inside me
took off my layers of silk
screeching to
get out of my skin
He flailed around
sending me spinning
Then I saw

A legion of hunters
red and green burning eyes
pretending
I didn't exist
So that I might
return again, as a horror
a spirit, a desperate god
That could have been
the end of me

But thanks to you
women are clamoring
to taste the mermaids flesh
And I am too callus
to care
if they become disfigured
The clacking of a hundred guns
Is no match
for heavens vengeance

Just 'cause the power's
eating you alive
thats no right
to ready them for murder
if you're so willing
to commit sepukku
May it be your wife
who decapitates you

If you can't take it
hand it over
to a woman
who can gentle it
The burdens of masculinity
hold you back
The weight of femininity
holds you down

You deserve to live
We know this
This is why we bow
and let the works
describe us
as monstrosities
Grinning to bear it
The illness
blessing your sex

So once more
from the beginning
tell me how worthless I am
Use me for my body
complain about my use
And when I get fed up
from taking it all on me
get up and leave
Because That's Fair.

And hate me
For feeding them
their own poison
Talk shit about me
for looking for love
a kind that suits me
Glare at me
while your darling prince cries

In a flash
Everything was black
except the yellow
in someone's eyes
whispered a hello
While he sang goodbye
I pressed a finger to my lips
so I wouldn't let on
about sweet every-things

Words sprung forth
wherever I went
The place that felt like home
was a hollow space
Where girls licked their lips
for a taste of my fountain
a new youth
springing unconsciously

The part of you I held
Was dying to get out
But when I brought you out
into the heaviness of life
you darted back behind
the protection of my apron
What could I have done
before you crawled back in

Everything was happening
all at once
No one carried the truth
Everyone bound me up
I was the thing to blame
I was the cause of the mess
Cause I was the one sitting
in the corner trying to fix it

In a world of regret
I am not a player
of any import
Just a vision of beauty
a mark of stain
on otherwise blank canvases
A shell to be carried
then mindlessly crushed

The lights came up
After show
I trudged to the car
And they saw
nothing beyond
My stylish outfit
perfection
So I am hated