I'm not sorry I've been asleep
It was something outside of my control
Something called me out
so I flew into the sunset alone
it didn't mean you weren't important
it just had nothing to do with you
so mother nature put me to bed
I hibernated while walking stiff
nothing stopped the days from calling
Wake Up, Stand Up, Make a Change
I wonder if I was too sick or drugged
to make out heads from balloons

I'm not sorry you didn't help me
It's not your fault you were too early
and too little too late
when your words reached my ears
I watched the needle worriedly
while I told the doctor it was fine
your medication inoculated me
against my own free will
I let it happen, cause that one day
we snuck into the laboratory
that eye dropper boy next to cupid
ran us through without a glance

imperfect beloved, what've you done?
when I was a child and couldn't object
I sat patiently for the doctor to feed me
his specially made poison
brewed to help keep the devil down
just cause someone else got sick
I need to be cured, and now I lost
a part of myself that made me me
breaking us apart
until you can find yourself a pretty cure
someone to sit upon your table to judge
So you can learn how to play house

As fun as that would have been
before I had a chance to join your game
I met a sweet little thing you attacked
She knew I would be a good toy
resilliant and dying to please
but as she showed me I had the key to the lab
I found myself freaking out
cause I had no clue how it came to me
And now because of this mess
I am dreaming of holding her
But she's gone now, possibly down and out
I never got to taste her shadow

I am sorry I couldn't be of more use
when we came in for our checkups
to see how well the disease
was being fought off by our antibodies
we both swore alliance to the chemist
who did what he could to kill us
but all the while I was secretly
whispering about how I never needed
medicines to help me through it all
and there we were with matching marks
I knew you were afraid I would heal
leaving you alone in the doctor's office

my dear I never left you
but we each have lives outside of this
just because i am right for the job
doesn't mean I'll be lucky enough to get it
This resume of mine is gonna get me
into someone else's pants
because I have limitations that transcend
the words that everyone hears
So i am afraid to reach out
to touch what is inherently mine
when you turned away from my hand
I knew I was completely done for

So, Princess, King of Kings,
Warrior of blood, Where are you today?
It was never good enough for you
to know I saved myself
when I wouldn't help anyone else
but this magic is calibrated to me
and none of us need a new disease
if I'm not careful I'll be under the knife
a scientific experiment
gone wrong, sewn back up
a computer for a brain spouting only
0011100 00110011

I'm not sorry I don't have it figured out
every letter, color, scent, and sound
boils or freezes my milky white core
or was it black as octopus ink?
are these parts that are supposed to be mine
organic or synthetic?
When did it matter more than the sound of my laugh?
I got at least 65 more years
to learn how little this box matters
while the world polarizes around us
bending our perception behind our eyes
The only thing I am asking for
is a hand to hold to prove I'm somewhere

take me there, to the place we belong
planes, trains, and automobiles
to assure we get there safe and sound
But if you're stuck in the mud, call me out
cheer me on, clap aloud, nod your head
let it out, hold it up, bring it into the light
and if someone new breaks this one
I got the skills to blow myself a new glass
to hold the liquid love that might wash away
if I don't pay closer attention to my shame
I've been waiting for perfection to look on my antiques
embarrassed by arsenic and old lace

I'll surely still be sorry if you can't see
the meaning behind these lines
but as long as you use them to explain yourself
in a single moment of fleeting confusion
then the pay day will be worth this
outpouring of primordial soup and crackers
and if it fits, know you aren't the only one
never mind my vision overlooking you
what is in our dreams means the most
so when I cross your unfettered mind
flesh to lips to tongue to shuddering voice
understand how you expect saturday morning

I like blue skies outside an open window
thin curtains blowing in with fresh air
the scent of tulip, hydrangea, crisp linen
hearing hollow drumming of fingers on bare skin
while moving up your thighs to hold it dear
before you take what is mine in your grasp
hand held instruments begging to be tuned
light the range so we can share the heat
feel, touch, explore, experiment, play
until you take advantage of the situation
to make a whimpering lover out of me

But if Friday found us that inclined
perhaps i could listen to you talk
about how you spent your weekends
before I got too enamored and pounded you
with pillows and/or stuffed animals
which would become a household war
pelting anything we got our hands on
until we find the roommate's organic pancake mix
the idea landed in perfectly in time
we would have to do it together
luckily I have a pair of wire whisks
and the time for a make-out session

Since she, he and it left me here alone
would you, my new beauty, come home
to see if we share the same delirium?
none of us are perfect, but I'll be honest
only opening my mouth to taste or moan
we can communicate using body language
fear not if you're lost or crossed or confused
we both deserve the chance to be loved
when tomorrow finds you scared
run into the day away from what we had
I'll cherish the beauty you were brave enough to share
even if I never find you again.

There is a darkness that balances light
and if the stars all go out
i'll be a beacon to show you the place
to find a fresh replacement bulb
so share the love, pass it along
a white durge to combat the black parade
wishing and hoping for a love that lasts
seeking it out, making it happen
i'll find the perfect fit where I belong
in the arms built to hold me close and tight
past the pain and sorrow of the losses
to cross the threshold in your loving care

Believe in me as I believe in you
for a place we can call home
the ones who are gone now
have taught me valuable lessons
as much as I want to be special
what is needed wont come easily
so i'll shed the guilt and sorrow
in the throws of nighttime passion
when that body of yours needs me
I'll be more than ready to take you there
stand up so I can see you
move yourself into my life before I forget

how much I need you want you
to be within me every time
take this which I am willing to give
send it right along into the new day
so none of us feel this emptiness
we will move on from the loneliness
shining brighter than the sun
no matter the hurt that holds us back
everything is gonna work out perfectly
regardless of your simple insecurities
we're all worth our hearts excessive need
and so beautiful we can disregard fear