Help - Life 101 Lecture

I've said it before and I will say it again. Humans are social creatures. We are not all hermitic individuals who prefer to be alone. In truth, we all seek at least one other person to share our own adventure with. That is to say we need one another. There is no one person with all the insight needed to get through their life unharmed. This is the nature of our existence. We abhor being lonely, so we have a defense mechanism programed that works as a detriment to our existence if we deny one another. Although there are Gods and Spirits or whatever name you give to your belief in something greater or outside of you that sweeps in at just the right time to assist or bring a miracle, A concept as wild and free as the wind cannot always lift you up. Sometimes we all need a hand, or and arm to lift us from the mud puddle we fell into. With a whole world of people everywhere all the time, how can any of us be afraid we won't be able to get back up?

There are some situations where you do need to stand up on your own two feet. When you loose your footing, but are otherwise unhurt, you can gather strength in your arms to put you back on your feet. Other times when you go out on your own and get yourself into some trouble, you might have to crawl back out on hands and knees to a safe place, where you will find people who will sling your broken bones and tend to your wounds. But in most cases when we fall into a hole, there are people who come by to see you sitting there. Most of the time they have some ability to assist. But these days it would seem that people are far more interested in walking by instead trying to help anyone else out. We have all turned our backs on good advise at some time or another only to experience the repercussions of said actions, but we seem to have become so deaf that people must resort to a kind begging and pleading for help that it boarders on psychosis. It also doesn't make things better when we are all so concerned about our own problems that we neglect others. When we cast one another aside we do more harm than good. We are made for one another, our hands and arms are tools for creating the things that make living easier for us. Nothing feels better in the whole world than to touch another person's skin, to feel their muscle, their bone, the solid organic mass that makes them up. After reaching out to lend a hand, on touch we automatically know just how to help. We speak both with words, with our minds, and with our bodies. With the power or knowhow to assist and our unlimited potential to gain strength and ability from places inside us we didn't know existed, it would appear we were made to work for one another.

Your gender, your age, your physicality, your mindset, all of these limitations can be put aside when there is someone in need of help. I won't say that for certain a 90 pound girl can lift a 400+ guy, but she can go find help, she could figure out a ladder mechanism, or she could inspire him to make his own way out with positive reinforcement and recognition of his talents. None of us are ever so far gone that we are unable to assist. We might all be shot, sliced, scarred, beaten, broken, or lost, but when someone is in need, regardless of our bleeding bodies, our will to overcome beats deeply inside our hearts, spurring us forward.

The arrow that has been shot into my shoulder had me feeling sorry for myself, wondering whatever I had done to be so poorly treated. I wondered who would want to hurt me this way, and if there was any meaning behind the "arrow" or the "shoulder" or even that it happened. I put the blame on everything around me for not protecting me. But now, months later I can understand that until the day comes where it will be explained to me, I had to take it out, lick my own wounds, clean the weapon, put it in my holster, wrap the hole so that I would be better able to help someone else. Now, although I am not all healed, I have enough bracing that I can use both of my arms again. I am be able to help the ones around me who have fallen down. And with each one I assist, the helping party will become greater. This can lead to a group effort to assist. In times of need, if we find someone really stuck we can all pull together to get them out.

Just as it is important to give help, it is also imperative to accept help. When we crash land into a place we have never been before, it can be daunting to accept assistance from people we don't know. Who can be sure if they will expect something in return? As safe as it might seem to turn yourself away from unsure sources, you have to remember that your need should come first. If someone is offering you a hand at a time that you need a hand, you should accept it. If there is a price to be paid then pay it. You are more likely to find that assistance is a return in itself if not resisted against. Knowing that your help saved another person can be the greatest reward. Life is about give and take. If you give, you are more likely to be assisted later when you are in need. But when you sit around crying about how no one will help you, your life is so hard, no one cares, and you don't do anything to get yourself up and out while rejecting anything coming towards you... well, serves you right to be stuck. Being resistant to help cages you behind your own need, limiting you from achieving what you must.

Asking for help is totally acceptable. Sometimes you just need to let people know you need something. Your body tells you what you need as you need it. We can be just as honest with one another. Sometimes the help we need can't be preformed by the ones we ask for help from, but getting it out there both lets you know as well as your environment what exactly it is you need. Once it hits the untouchable social network that connects us all it has the freedom to roam looking for someone who can. If, however, you put yourself out there while denying yourself then your need penetrates the lives of everyone who can help and holds them back. So when you ask for help, be prepared to accept it, from whatever source it comes from.

Don't force your help on anyone. If someone is falling off of a cliff because the rock they are holding onto is breaking in their grasp, then do take their arm and pull them up. But if a safe person is walking just fine, there is no need to grab them by the arm and drag them to a hole, shove them in, just so you can help them back up. If someone is climbing out of their hole just fine, don't throw down an aluminum ladder that hits them in the head, knocking them down. If you want to, ask if they need any help. If they say, "I sure could use a rope ladder," see what you can do about that. Most of the time people know what they need to get out of the trouble they are in. If they don't but you do, ask their permission. If they are being a damed fool about it, try to explain to them that you see something that might work better. Otherwise, wait to be a hero when there is distress that you <i>can</i> fix.

The most important part about help is being honest. If you can't help someone in the way they need, don't hurt yourself trying. If you are in need, be honest about what it is that you need. If what you could use is kept, there is little chance it will find you. If you can do what is needed but tell yourself you can't, then that need might have to be filled by one who cannot do it correctly. There are people who can help with just about anything, but these people are always on the run helping someone else out. Put yourself out there, ask around, seek what you need. If nothing is coming to you, then turn to something that can teach you to do it yourself. We all must be responsible for ourselves. In those times when we cannot get through the night alone, when we are bleeding, when we are crying, when we need a helping hand, ask and ye shal receive. Be honest with yourself about what you need. Once you can accept your own limitations then you will be able to understand what is missing from your life that would help you move in the direction of liberation.