The Arts - Life 101 lecture

The Arts are and expression of personal values and morales on an individual level. These expressions can be based on pressures from society, inspiration from family, or just a desire to get what is inside you out there. What better way to document the human condition than by creating something with your body and mind. Most human communication is vague in nature. This is due to the fact that all of us have a different fundamental idea if what is necessary to express. So we try as best we can with languages that don't evolve as fast as we do, with entertainment that can't hold a candle to real meaning, and with the expression of art.

This lecture is going to be a week long affair. There are multiple genres of art and within each genre more than a few forms. But before I get into all of the facets of the Arts, lets speak generally about Self Expression.

The Human Condition, simplified, is as follows. A free moving soul is captured and placed inside an organic body as the energy core center in order to transcend physical limitations to bring a little bit of freedom to our spirits, joy to our hearts, and peace to our minds. This is process of creating a meaningful life. We all have a little ghost in all of our shells. That little ghost misses being free, flowing through space and time as whim decides. Most of the time that little guy wants to get out. Who likes being caged? So we need to express ourselves. If, by the nature of existence, that freedom must be harbored it is, naturally, going to try to escape. If you don't let it out, it can become unstable, dangerous, and make the most ordinary of individuals do some pretty crazy things. So how do we let ourselves free the beast?
*points to the title of this lecture*

Self Expression is different for every individual. There are people who need to physically work out frustrations. There are others who need to work things out mentally. And there are some who can't get themselves in order unless they are both thinking and acting. Meditation and Exercise are two magnificent ways to look deep into yourself to figure out where you are, or where you'd like to go. But until you can put yourself out there, all you will have is a toned body and a fairly settled mind. That in itself does not a happy soul make. There is something very specific that your core is good at. It is your true nature that you must be able to let out. If that expression comes in the form of written word, images, melody, performance, or play, then you are naturally opening yourself up to yourself and the world. If it is something as small as putting a "hug slut" button on your jacket or something as large as painting your truest feelings on a 20' canvas, in either event you are taking down the barriers that make the spirit feel caged.

But this is not easy. Actually, most of the time people are too embarrassed about expressing themselves that they actually have trouble conveying the right thing. There is no magical podium that I can walk up behind and speak my mind while not denying my heart. Or so we think. In truth, anytime you can honestly say the words that really hit the bulls eye of your own needs, you will not be turned asunder. In my experience, the only times I had ever been denied was when I couldn't be direct with my own feelings. This was directly effected by my own inability to understand myself. Jamie told me once that Art was like Therapy. A way to dive into yourself to retrieve the broken off bits of soul that have cesseded from the greater good and bring them forth into some media in order to let your brain see yourself. She is completely correct. But there are times that t doesn't come that easy. I have sat for weeks in front of a blank canvas just waiting for inspiration. I have given myself instructions: Show me your true feelings, but after a week and nothing I had figured it might not come. Maybe I don't have any feelings. And then, while waiting for the hot water to warm up in the shower on some basically uneventful day, I went to town on it with sidewalk chalk. I had planned I would paint on it. I thought it would be much more an expression of images that hid meaning. Instead, it turned out much more like the back cover to a notebook, covered in simple stick figure sketches and words that meant something to me. It was honest, direct, and obvious. Because of this I turned it around. My True feelings are kissing a wall, which, is exactly what I do when I let myself out (walls never say no, they are strong they are hard, they never resist, they are emotionally deficient so when I fall into one in tears it doesn't start crying or bitching, and people aren't ever jealous of walls). After I was able to get my simple truth out for my brain to recognize, I found myself sleeping easier, dreaming more, and being more affectionate toward the people in my life. I also became more actively recessing into myself in order to work more of this deep seeded issue.

To an illustrator a sketch pad is like a diary. A place to put your feelings down in word or image. Canvas, notepads, any kind of paper is fantastic for documented expression. Tooling around with an instrument or moving your body to a beat has the same result. These are private, personal, dictations of our emotions that we have not yet completely understood. Have you ever seen how an art student clings to her portfolio? Have you ever seen the mortified glance from someone finding you looking through their notebook? Have you ever had someone else change your art?

I remember being a senior in college. For the first time I was really experimenting with my work, stylistically speaking. So there I am in class, minding my own business, when the professor comes up, takes one of my brushes, dips it into my pallet and proceeds to put purple on my golden piece. I very professionally accepted her help. I watched as my vision faded into a form of realism I hadn't wanted to experiment with. After she handed me the brush, I continued in her vein, until something in me snapped. I went outside the art department and cried. It was as if my personal expression was not good enough. That my diary needed editing. She was always pushing realism on me, but I wasn't using water colors, and I sure as hell wasn't going to paint boats or lighthouses. I was shown for the first time that Art is not about personal expression, but ability to document a reality I never quite fit into. I was crushed. I learned for the first time what it meant to be an art student. From then on out, it was a string of criticism, constant belittlement, and always questions. Then art fought me. Over the summer i stabbed myself through (and i mean through) the finger with a chisel. I obviously needed some time to recoup, but my art professor wouldn't allow that. no matter that I fell to the floor, smashed my head and began sezuring (and inspired a class of quitters to pick up the pack of marlboros again). So the next day I went in, worthless finger and all, and went back to making blocks for printing. As you might guess, by the time I graduated I was fed up. I moved back to Northern Virginia and got a job as a Temp. I cut myself completely off from my own therapy because it was causing me too much doubt. I alienated myself from my dear friends, ruined an otherwise perfect relationship. And then I went crazy... and wondered why.

This is why people close themselves up. When any special part of yourself is brought into the light only to be shat upon it skews your ability to keep a positive attitude about the world in which you live. But for every bad time, each smack down, we have the strength to stand back up. It is core to human nature to express yourself artistically. even if its something as simple as coloring with crayons or if its playing pictionary. If you pull out your lap top to write, or a note pad to get down ideas. Life is expression. Love is expression. Get yourself creating. Doodle on photo copy paper. take down notes and ideas in a notepad you carry around. Express yourself. Then when someone tries to make you feel small or insignificant you can assure yourself that life is a work in process by looking at the collection of your achievements.